dreams

Recently been listening sound tracks from the drama series"fugitive plan b". i love all the songs, especially because of it fast rhythm and with a build up :) These song make me feel like i'm am at the top of the world, allows me to feel that all thing are possible, especially in doing the things that i love doing.

Yesterday i had a great time with God. It felt so good, sharing and saying what's really in my heart. I remember asking God, what i should be doing now. i feel totally not in what i should be doing. I remember how god assure me that it's alright, and then it is alright not to be "successful" as termed according to the world.
i remembered i asked God if its ok, if i do not do and chase after the things which are "normal" in this world. this could meant not finding a "decent" looking job in the future, not being successful in what others would say is "normal". i know it may not be easy not doing what "normal", there will be peer pressure, or stress that could make me waver my choice in the future. But i'll do my best and i do not mind the hardship that comes with it. i want to make sure the rest of my life, is doing something i really love, really enjoy and not doing what everyone things is "normal" and then keep doubting myself and being miserable with myself because i feel that i am not where i suppose to be. i remember how it feel good, how happy i was, there was a skip to every of my step, a joy that came to my face and a fire that came to my heart and eyes.

i know i do not know what the future holds or will bring me to. but i am sure there wil be great challenges ahead. i know i may waver and even stumble, but one thing for sure i know... that is that God is by my side, that He will guide me and lead me and off cos pull me back when i have gone wrong.
I know that i need to trust Him with all my life.

if there no such thing as reality and challenges, what will i do with my life?
what will i do?
i know i want to inspire and strengthened people.
to create a place or an organisation that allows people to learn, practise and use their talent. this is not just for the best people, but for everyone.
A place, a label, to push out talents, give a space for talent to be show. sponsor them. just like how other artist, would want to create their own label, open and teach the younger people whom are interested and give them an opening under their name and label to show their talent. i want to be able to do that.
i'm a very C person, a person who can be detailed, perfectionist and i love strategies. if there is something that could make use of all of that + helping people. i would be super happy.

It comes down to the point. how do i do that? i feel that i cannot even see what just 10m ahead of me.